The New Mascot
by Kitty Calnan
Summary: Pikachu and Jigglypuff fight to the death for the role of pokémon mascot!


The New Mascot!  
  
Disclaimer: Everyone except the Narrarator belongs to Nintendo.  
  
Author's Note: Yes, this should be in the super smash bros section (if there is one) but hey... enjoy!  
  
Narrarator: One day in pokémon land, Pikachu was sitting on his throne, reading his fan mail...  
  
Pikachu: Hey! This one's a flame! You're not sifting hard enough, Ash!  
  
Ash: Yes, Master Pikachu! Sorry, Master Pikachu!  
  
*Pikachu hits Ash with a giant whip*  
  
Ash: Ouch! Hey, there's a letter from Jigglypuff!  
  
Pikachu: What, that stupid little powder puff? Gimme that!  
  
*Pikachu turns red with fury after reading the letter, and lets out a huge thunderbolt*  
  
Ash: Waaaaah!  
  
Pikachu: How DARE she!!!  
  
Ash: Waaaaah!  
  
Pikachu: Quiet, you!  
  
*Pikachu hits Ash with giant whip*  
  
Ash: Ouch!  
  
Pikachu: Bring me Jigglypuff!  
  
Ash: Yes, oh powerful master!  
  
Narrarator: And so Ash scrabbles away to track down Jigglypuff, whilst Pikachu watches re-runs of Blankety Blank...  
  
Pikachu: This is rubbish! Who sceduled this channel?  
  
Mewtwo: (grovelling in front of Pikachu) Uh... That would be me.  
  
Pikachu: YOU'RE FIRED!  
  
Mewtwo: *sob*  
  
Tracey: But who's going to replace him in case we need him again?  
  
Pikachu: Why, his stunt double of course! You're fired too, for appearing out of nowhere, asking stupid questions and...  
  
Mewtwo: And for having an awful dress sense?  
  
Pikachu: Ah yes, and for having an awful dress sense. That goes for Brock too.  
  
Narrarator: Whilst Mewtwo and Tracey shuffle off, and a messanger is sent to tell Brock he's fired and locate three stunt doubles, Ash arrives with Jigglypuff...  
  
Ash: Here is Jigglypuff, oh shocking one!  
  
Pikachu: Ash, go and replace those missing tiles for trying to be funny.  
  
Ash: *sob* (crawls off to B&Q)  
  
Pikachu: And Jigglypuff... *hops down from throne* WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU STUPID LITTLE POWDERPUFF?!  
  
Jigglypuff: I should be top pokémon, 'cos I'm much cuter, and funnier, too!  
  
Pikachu: Why you little... Alright! It's about time I had a decent battle- *shouts* Hey! Stunt Double? You're fired!  
  
Pikachu's stunt double: *sob* (slinks off)  
  
Pikachu: (turning back to Jigglypuff) I'll meet you on Cinnabar Island's biggest volcano, tomorrow at 3pm! Then we'll see who's best!  
  
Narrorator: So the next day at 3pm, the giant stadium on top of cinnabar island's biggest volcano (that had been miraculously built overnight) was full with spectators. We now join our commentators, Jessie and James...  
  
Jessie: And it's a woderful day today, for...  
  
James: Wonderful! Like me!  
  
Jessie: Shut up!  
  
*Jessie hits James over the head with a paper fan, knocking him off his nice swivelly chair*  
  
Jessie: As I was saying... it's a woderful day today, for the head off between a yellow mouse and a- um... *smiles* and an opponent!  
  
James: (recovering, but still with a big red mark on his face) And first onto the battlefield, standing at 1' 4" (2' if you include the tail) Peek-ah-che-ewwwwwwwwwwww!  
  
*crowd cheers*  
  
Jessie: And next up standing at 1' 8" is his opponent, Jig-lee-pu-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuf!  
  
*crowd start to cheer, but soon change it to a boo when they see Pikachu's menacing glace*  
  
James: And the contenders line up. The following rules apply:  
  
Jessie: 1)No time limit  
2)No restrictions  
3)One on one  
4)Whoever is left conscious or alive at the end is the pokémon mascot  
  
James: Let the battle begin!  
  
Jessie: Oh, and that's a nice headbutt coming from Pikachu's side, it looks to be a good hit...  
  
James: But what's this? Ooh, Jigglypuff has jumped into the air, evading Pikachu's attack by inches...  
  
Jessie: And now Jigglypuff is coming down, oh my, that's a brilliant body slam! That's gotta hurt, Jim...  
  
James: You're tellin' me, Jess. And now Pikachu's brought a mighty thundershock onto Jigglypuff, and is getting ready to do another...  
  
Jessie: But Jigglypuff is singing it's famous song, and it looks like Pikachu's getting *yawn* drowsy...  
  
James: Zzz...  
  
*Jessie hits James in the ribs to wake him up*  
  
James: Huh? Oh, yes. And now Jigglypuff has whacked Pikachu with all it's strength...  
  
Jessie: Knocking it into the sidelines. That's gotta hurt, Jim!  
  
James: You're tellin' me, Jess! And Pikachu's down! Jigglypuff is already doing it's victory dance on the edge of the lava pit...  
  
Jessie: 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2... Oh! And Pikachu's up! But Jigglypuff's still dancing...  
  
James: Pikachu has pushed Jigglypuff into the lava! J-P is no more!  
  
Pikachu: That'll show you, buddy.  
  
Jessie: And to the victor the spoils!  
  
James: Well done Pikachu!  
  
*crowd cheers*  
*at this point a derranged lunatic jumps up and shoots Pikachu*  
  
Pikachu: Don't worry, it was only my leg!  
  
Misty: Pikachu has legs?  
  
*the derranged lunatic shoot Pikachu again. This time he doesn't miss*  
  
Jessie: Well, we'll be talking to the champion later in the nearest hospital. So it's goodnight from me...  
  
James: And goodnight from me.  
  
Mewtwo's stunt double: But it's only 3.20!  
  
J+J: SHUT UP!  
  
*distant wail of ambulance is heard*  
  
THE END! 


End file.
